Honesty Read online

  There were still a handful of immunosuppressants that she was still prescribed, along with medications to counteract the side effects, but given how smooth her recovery had been, she’d often slacked off on taking her meds. There was always the risk that she could reject her transplant, but she’d be lying if she said it was something she actively worried about as an adult.

  Alder said, “If you need anything, you’ll let me know.”

  He didn’t phrase it as a question, but she nodded anyway. “Of course I will.”

  Seeming satisfied, Alder led her around to the front porch. “I want you to relax tonight and rest your foot. I need to help my brother sort things out with Whiteriver, but we should be able to leave within the next week.”

  Her brows rose. “So soon? I mean, I was just getting used to things here.”

  Alder’s smile returned. “I don’t want to wait any longer than we have to.”

  Taylor pivoted on the front step, staring at him. Even with the leverage, he was still a few inches taller than her. Reaching a hand out, she placed it on the back of his neck where she knew he loved to be touched.

  “I feel like you’re leaving everything behind for me and I don’t think that’s a good idea. We can stay here, take a few months to get to know one another—”

  “I already know you,” Alder said firmly. While he didn’t seem angry, his expression was otherwise inscrutable. She hated it when he looked like that.

  Dropping her hand, she said, “No, Alder, that’s the thing. You don’t know me at all. You don’t even know my real name.”

  That seemed to get his attention. His forehead creased.

  “It’s Devin,” she said. Her hands tightened around her bag. “And that’s the least of what you don’t know about me. You’ve barely known me for a week. You can’t just go throwing your life away to be with me.”

  “What is this really about?” he asked, frowning.

  Taylor took another step up, giving herself an inch over him. “It’s about you making major life decisions for a woman you barely know. You still haven’t even asked me what I did, why I was on the run.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Because I don’t believe for a second that you did anything wrong.”

  “I could have driven away,” she said, swallowing hard. “I shot him in the leg and he was crying and begging me not to kill him and I could have left him there and I could have driven away. But I didn’t. I shot him, four times in the chest and once in the head.”

  She expected Alder to look at her like a stranger, or worse, but instead his stoic mask fell back into place. Putting a hand on her head, he smoothed her hair out.

  “When you’re ready, we’ll talk about it.”

  He walked away and she stared after him until he disappeared into the fog.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Thunder rumbled in the distance as Taylor heaved another bag of trash onto the growing pile on the porch. They’d moved the last of the crates onto the porch about an hour ago and since then had been gathering up the loose trash in large burlap sacks.

  Some of the garbage was downright foul and she could hardly believe she’d slept in the cabin with so much mold and decay. On the plus side, the cabin was miraculously free of bugs, which may or may not have been because Lark enjoyed eating them. Taylor wasn’t sure, but the raccoon shifter had said some pretty suspect things about the taste of roaches.

  “What should we do with it?” Glenn asked, leaning back against the wooden railing.

  “Store it in your room?” Lark asked hopefully.

  Glenn scoffed. “Not a chance. Beka would kill me.”

  It was hard to imagine Glenn and Beka were brother and sister. Aside from their both being way too skinny, they looked nothing alike. While Beka was a leggy blonde, Glenn was only a nose taller than Taylor. He had shaggy brown hair and one of those teenager beards that hadn’t quite grown in everywhere it should have yet.

  Lark said, “I suppose we could throw it all in the river.”

  Taylor’s eyes bulged. “Throw it in the river? You can’t throw garbage in the river!”

  Lark gave her a questioning look. “How come?”

  “Well, for one,” Taylor said, holding up a finger, “it’s bad for the environment, and for two”—she held up another finger—“littering is a crime.”

  Glenn laughed at her. “What do you care if it’s a crime? Aren’t you some sort of murderer?”

  Taylor scratched the back of her head. He did have a point there…

  “Wait a minute,” Taylor said, pinning him with a hard stare. “Did Alder tell you that?”

  “No, I did,” Lark said, giving Taylor a sheepish grin.

  “Alder told you?”

  “No, you kind of did,” Lark said. “You were very loud this morning.”

  Taylor felt her cheeks heat. She’d spent the past few hours trying to put her afternoon interlude with Alder out of her mind. The fog had cleared a while back, but he hadn’t returned.

  She wasn’t sure if she’d been trying to give him the reality check he needed or if she’d just been trying to push him away. Either way, the fact remained that Alder had no business leaving his home and his pack behind for her.

  “You should know,” said Glenn, “Lark has impeccable hearing but the complete inability to shut her mouth about anything.”

  Lark nodded. Sadly, she said, “It’s true. I’m awful at keeping secrets.”

  “Duly noted,” said Taylor. Then, something else occurred to her. “Doesn’t it bother you guys? You know, what I did?”

  They both shrugged.

  “This isn’t like the human world,” he said. “We’ve all killed here.”

  Surprised, Taylor looked to Lark for confirmation.

  “I told you yesterday,” Lark said. “It wasn’t always peaceful here.”

  Glenn pushed off the railing and then hefted two of the heavier crates into his arms. “Come on. I think I know somewhere we can put these.”

  Snatching up one of the lighter sacks, Lark gave Taylor a cheeky grin and followed him off the porch and down the stone walkway. Taylor stared after them for a moment before grabbing a light crate of her own and walking briskly to catch up.

  They brought the junk to a small cavern a little ways north of the main den entrance. According to Glenn, the inside was dark and prone to flooding, so Taylor waited outside with Lark as he hauled the loads down one by one. It didn’t seem like the ideal place to store Lark’s stuff, but Taylor figured the raccoon would probably forget about it after a few days anyway.

  As she waited for Glenn to come back, something in her own crate caught her eyes. She plucked out a Mason jar and unscrewed the cap, pulling out its contents. There were four brown packages with pictures of leafy greens on them. She shook one of the packages, hearing a rattling noise.

  “Whatcha got there?” Lark asked.

  Taylor scanned the back of the package. “These are spinach seeds.”

  “Is that a food?”

  Taylor nodded. “Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.”

  Lark’s eyes widened with delight. “We can plant them in the garden outside the cabin.”

  “Yeah,” Taylor said, grinning. The strawberries were great, but after only a day she was already getting tired of them. That, and she doubted that they were enough to sustain a healthy diet.

  Lark sat down on the grass, her shoulders slumping. “But you probably won’t be here long enough to grow them.”

  Oh, there was that.

  Taylor sat down next to Lark, resting her chin on the heel of her palm. “I don’t know if I’ll be leaving or not. Alder seems pretty adamant about it, but…”

  But would he even want to leave with her after what she’d told him this afternoon? And if he did, would she really be able to accept him leaving everything behind for her?

  “It’s just so much pressure,” Taylor said, lying back on the grass. “I mean, what if he decides he doesn’t want to be with me after all? He’ll hav
e left his home for nothing.”

  Lark lay down beside her. “I don’t think Alder would ever leave you once you were carrying his pups. He’s not that type of male.”

  Taylor turned her head, giving Lark a quizzical look. “What do you mean, carrying his pups?”

  “Babies, ya know? That’s what the wolves call them, at least, the ones who were raised in the mountains.”

  Taylor laughed. “Who said anything about having kids? I’m not even sure if I’m ready to live with Alder, let alone procreate with him.”

  “It’s not really a choice,” said Lark. “I mean, you always have a choice of which male you want to sire your pups, but the rest of it sort of comes with the territory of taking a mate.”

  Taylor sat up. “Are you saying Alder will expect me to have kids with him?”

  “Well, yes. Didn’t he tell you that?”

  “No,” Taylor said, feeling queasy. “I really don’t think he’s interested in that sort of thing, and I’m definitely not.”

  Her life was already a disaster. The last thing she wanted to do was add a baby into the mix.

  “It’s instinct,” Glenn said, emerging from the mouth of the cavern. “Doesn’t matter what Alder wants, though he’s always liked kids.”

  “Instinct?”

  “Birds fly south for the winter, squirrels hoard nuts, alpha wolves take human mates to breed with. Instinct.”

  The queasiness in her stomach evolved into full-on nausea. She tried to reassure herself that they were probably generalizing. After all, that was a pretty huge thing for Alder to leave out.

  The thunder rumbled again, this time sounding closer. Almost immediately, it was followed by the howling of wolves. No matter how long she lived with wolves, Taylor was certain she would never get used to that eerie noise.

  “Sounds like it’s cleanup time,” Lark said, sitting up. Taylor recalled that the wolves hunted each night, leaving the pack members who didn’t hunt to strip the carcass. She hadn’t seen the grisly affair herself, but judging by the woeful note in Lark’s voice, it wasn’t a good time.

  It was the lack of anything better to do and not morbid curiosity that had Taylor following Lark and Glenn to the river. Both of them were sullen and dragged their feet the whole way.

  Unlike the river Taylor and Alder had followed in the foothills, the river that ran through the forest didn’t seem to have any shallows. After about an arm’s length in, there was a steep drop-off and the water became ominously dark. According to Lark, they swam in the southern end from time to time, but the north was riddled with hidden currents that could suck you under.

  Beka and her companions, Kale and Quinn, were already waiting by the river when they arrived. Just like the only other time Taylor had met Beka, the tall blonde was giving her the stink eye.

  More amused than annoyed, Taylor arched a brow at her. “Problem?”

  Beka’s jaw slackened. Clearly, she hadn’t been expecting that.

  Taylor rolled her eyes. She’d never had patience for bitches. Beside her, Lark snickered, but Taylor’s attention was drawn back to the forest as the hunting party arrived.

  No less than a dozen wolves emerged from the tree line, some carrying small game, mostly birds. They were all different sizes and colors, but only one stood out among them.

  It was the first time she’d seen Alder in the light of day. He looked majestic in the fading sunlight. His coat was a seamless blend of colors, white on his head and back that slowly turned into a light, tawny brown beneath his neck and on his stomach. She was once again taken aback by how big he was and would have marveled at his beauty, were he not carrying a rather large deer carcass in his mouth.

  He held it by the neck, its blood running down his chest and matting his fur. It was almost cute, the way he pranced up to them, proudly holding up the kill.

  With hardly a sideways glance, he walked past Taylor and dropped the deer in front of Beka and her friends. She was glad he didn’t put the deer in front of her, but the way he’d regarded her, or rather hadn’t regarded her, made her feel uneasy. Was he still upset about earlier?

  Alder shifted, and Taylor watched the wolf’s bones twist and pop as his muscles compressed into the shape of a large human male. As he flexed his arms, Taylor cautiously approached him.

  “Get this done quickly,” Alder said. “I’m starving.”

  When she neared him, Alder’s gaze flickered to Taylor. She immediately stopped, taken aback by the coldness in his eyes. For a moment, she felt sick with anxiety. Then, she recognized what was wrong and schooled her expression into apathy.

  Turning his body to face her, he smirked and said, “I see you’re learning to tell us apart.”

  She didn’t like Hale’s stupid smirk and she didn’t like the way he looked at her as if she was beneath him.

  “It’s not hard,” she said, squaring her shoulders.

  Hale’s lips flattened. “Have you ever portioned meat before, human?”

  It irritated her that he wasn’t calling her by name, but she wasn’t going to press the issue. This guy was not worth her time.

  “I don’t eat meat,” she told him.

  “Taylor’s a vegetarian,” Glenn supplied.

  She was surprised that he knew the term when even Alder hadn’t. Thinking back, she realized Glenn didn’t quite speak like the others and whenever she spoke about human things he never needed explanations like Lark frequently did.

  “What the fuck is that?” Hale asked, tearing her from her musings.

  Taylor cringed. She was guilty of using light profanity from time to time, but she’d never been a fan of the word ‘fuck’.

  She drew on her reserves of patience. “Like I said, I don’t eat meat.”

  Hale stared at her, looking remarkably similar to the way his twin had looked at her when she’d told him the same thing. His lips parted, and she thought he was going to ask her something, but instead he shook his head.

  “Whatever. Beka will teach you how,” he said, motioning towards the carcass. Blood had pooled around the deer’s exposed throat, emptying from its body too quickly to be absorbed into the ground.

  Her temper flared. “I don’t eat animals. What makes you think I’d be okay with cutting one up?”

  Hale’s chin rose. “Because I said so.” His voice was cold and arrogant. “Now wipe that look off your face and get to work.”

  He turned to walk away. She heard a noise from behind her and looked over her shoulder to see Beka and her friends quietly laughing and muttering amongst one another.

  “No,” Taylor said to Hale’s back. When he ignored her, she stalked forward, catching up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. “You can’t make me—”

  Her breath caught as Hale grabbed her wrist. In one motion, he jerked her so that she was standing in front of him. Half of his face was shadowed as he glared down at her.

  For a moment, Taylor forgot herself and what she was doing. It was so strange to see a face she associated with so many positive emotions staring at her with anger, and something else…

  Resentment. It was something that she was all too familiar with. Why hadn’t she noticed it before? And what had she done to make him feel that way towards her?

  “I am the alpha of this pack,” he said in a humorless voice. “You’ll do whatever I say you’ll do, otherwise you can start walking.”

  “Alder said I could stay,” she retorted.

  “Alder’s gone. It’s just me and you, sweetheart.”

  She blinked at him. “Alder’s gone?”

  Looking around the area, she could see many of the pack members, in both human and animal forms, had gathered to watch the spectacle. Alder wasn’t among them.

  “Where is he?” Taylor asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

  “He didn’t tell you?” Hale asked, releasing her wrist.

  Taylor looked back up at him. The anger was gone from his face, but he looked no less intimidating. She shook her head.


  “He left earlier. He has business to handle in the north,” Hale said. “He should be back tomorrow night. Until then, you’ll be answering to me.”

  He stood there for another moment, his eyes running the length of her body. They lingered around her chest and she was annoyed until she looked down to see that the top half of her scar was exposed. She shifted uncomfortably, but made no move to cover herself. The last thing she wanted was to give away another insecurity to the obnoxious predator before her.

  Finally, he turned to walk away. As she watched him retreat into the forest, she realized that she’d just lost the confrontation. Without Alder by her side, she was powerless against his brother.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Take these to Hale,” Beka said, hefting the wooden bowl into Taylor’s arms.

  Taylor looked at Beka and then the bowl. Its contents were, according to Lark, the choicest cuts of venison. Many of those parts Taylor had cut out of the deer herself.

  It hadn’t been Beka or her friends who had forced her to take part in stripping the carcass. In fact, Taylor had been completely uncooperative, outright refusing to so much as pluck a turkey. In the end it had been seeing Lark and Glenn, elbow-deep in guts and looking miserable, that had made her come around. They were sort of her friends now, and she hadn’t been able to sit by and do nothing while they worked.

  Too inexperienced to take on any of the smaller prey by herself, she worked with Lark to strip the deer carcass. Deer had always been a favorite animal of hers. She’d thought they were beautiful, graceful creatures and even now that the work was done, she still felt sick with herself for having hacked one to pieces. She took some solace in the fact that they didn’t leave so much as a scrap of meat behind.

  “Why me?” Taylor grumbled, pushing the bowl back towards Beka.

  Leaning away, Beka asked, “Why do you complain so much? You should be grateful you have a place to stay, considering what you did.”

  Taylor was genuinely surprised. “Who told you?”

  “Lark,” said Beka. “Hale is in the back, near the fifth bonfire.”